why i don't miss driver's ed class (a true story)

Yesterday I took my dreaded driver re-training class brought to you by CT DMV. Actually, A Better Connecticut Driver, but who's really keeping track of names? It's still a 4 hour class that's pretty much a refresh of something I learned 6 years ago. People who get caught speeding, running lights, stops signs, etc. have to take this class or get their license suspended. What I learned is that there are all kinds of people out there offending the traffic laws. Besides me, 25 multi-colored-personalities of fun! Fortunately for me, I got to sit at the same table with the chief offender. But we'll get to that in a bit.

This class took place at a local hotel (which actually was a nice blessing since some students had driven a considerable distance whereas I only took about 5-10 minutes). We were all packed into one of the smaller banquet rooms with tiny 3 people-per-table settings. I got there early due to the lady on the phone telling me the doors would be closed and locked had I gotten there a minute past the start time (she told me 5:45 sharp, in actuality it started at 6pm, and I just made it by 5:30... but at least I got a good seat).

OH!! Before we get to the hotel, let me tell you about before I got there. Per the lady on the phone, I had to pay with a money order of $60. (Which brings my total speeding offense to about $360.) So I went to the local money order place I knew of, a 24 hour store down the street from my house that I normally got money orders from. I rarely buy them, and I rarely use checks. So this is somewhat of a hassle for me, but I deal with it. It's about 5pm and the dude says the machine that does money orders is only on in the morning. I'm thinking... WHAT THE STANK?! I don't say it, but I want to. And I feel anger and frustration but I'm too much in a hurry to demand explanations.

I drive down to the grocery store thinking they might have my needs and call my mom on the way, looking for other options. She suggests a pawn shop the opposite way. I love my mom. She was correct. I get there and tell the dude I need a money order and begin to pull out the plastic. He stops me before I go any further to alert me its a cash only deal. It didn't dawn on me at the time. I mean c'mon, it's a pawn shop. He suggests the 24 hour store down the street has an ATM. The same one that turned off their money order machine. Big sigh.

I'm back at the 24 hour store and head straight to the ATM. I pay me stupid $2 to get $80, then grab a Pepsi to break one of the $20s so I have change to buy the money order. (Silly me, before leaving the house I could've grabbed $.60 to avoid this transaction, but the Pepsi comes in handy later.)

I'm back at the pawn shop, I get my money order, and I travel to the hotel. Had I not gone back and forth, I would've been there much earlier. But early birds get the better seats, once you find the room anyway. I helped an older gentleman find the same room too.

Walking in those rooms at evening hours gave me unsettling memories of when I was swindled out out $500 for a pyramid scheme. I don't wanna talk about it.

There's only 3 people in the room when I get there. Three older guys. In my head, being a young guy, I was hoping for some hot girls that happened to be bad drivers. Hey, I can dream. As the time got closer to 6, the room filled up with mostly older men. And what women that did come in, weren't really in my league. One such dude gave me hope when he came in, telling me the last time he had to come to such a class, it was full of girls. He knew me from high school, and he did look familiar, but still after he told me his name, I was drawing a blank. Alas, that night it was the opposite of hot girls.

I don't really like talking about people since I never know who might read this, but one such person who sat at my table... Let me put it like this, I'd never attack a woman. But this woman I think I wanted to duct tape her entire face. I'd leave holes to breathe through and maybe one eye hole, but deep inside, I didn't care much for her. (I wouldn't really do it. Just the sound of the duct tape would make me happy.) If the reason isn't clear, it's because she kept talking. Even before the class started, she was on her cell phone talking to whoever about who knows what. Wasn't really considerate to the others around her even though class didn't start. But while the teacher talked, she had comments. Not helpful or insightful. More along the lines of trying to be humorous. It came off as annoying. Perhaps it was thinking out loud. And when we did the tests? Between reading out loud and pointing out typos, I longed for escape. (I'll throw in the fact she felt like she wasn't supposed to be in this class due to her getting a ticket and it not being her fault. I lost so much interest that I don't remember the specific details of her offense.)

I'm missing a point here. I was at one end of the table, she was at the other. A kind lady sat between us. Like I said, it was cramped as it is. I don't think the lady at the end of the table would've lived very long if the class was 5 or 6 hours. And think, all I wanted to do was duct tape her. I could see the stress and frustration the lady next to me was feeling. She did the best she could to keep it inside, but she was also good with the sarcasm or gestures of "I really hate you right now, please don't speak to me" while smiling or brushing her off completely. At one point she turned to her and said she was giving a little too much class participation when the lady commented on why she doesn't like seat belts. (The lady was a rather large lady, especially in the chest area, and complained TO THE CLASS about having to get out of the seatbelt should there be an accident due to her, um, largeness.)

What made it worse was the dude who knew me (and sat in front of me) was part of the problem, kind of talking or commenting to her or her comments. He was actually making comments all all night to everyone and the teacher and even started a conversation with the teacher about being a teacher. This caused an unseen man in the back to blurt out "Get on with it!" Ironically enough, we just covered road rage.

The other pain we all endured was a man who didn't seem like he followed the whole program. That wasn't the problem I, or others, had with him. It was the coughing. Perhaps it was a smokers cough. I'm not sure. But it was a cough that sounded worse each time he did it. And by worse, I mean it was longer, louder and... uh... moister. I don't want to get too graphic. It just got unpleasant. I wouldn't have been surprised if he coughed up a shoe. In fact, I hoped he would so that way maybe we'd know and be aware "Okay, this guy had a shoe in his lung. Now he'll be quiet and okay the rest of the night."

The whole night could've been a lot worse. I don't want to imagine how. But at least now I'm done with the cops, the DMV and their fees for everything. I will do the best I can to avoid speeding, mostly so I can avoid sitting through another class, and spending hours with people I probably won't ever meet again. God forbid, but how ironic would it be if any of us got into an accident with each other?

wise words from a wise man

Without getting too much into details about how this conversation came to be, this is a father-to-son chat my dad had with me the other night after returning from a court house out of state.

DAD: Don't go to jail in New Jersey.

(awkward pause)

ME: Ooo kaaay... Uh... Dad, I'm trying not to go to jail at all.

This statement was almost out of the blue, had I not known where he was earlier. But it was the timing.

(Just to put minds at easy, none of us have been arrested. However, we keep finding ourselves at court for numerous reasons... which is a whole other story I'll be sure to chat about later.)

write about now

Lately I'm finding more time to myself now that I'm getting other... I don't know... I guess you can call them distractions... but they are getting out of the way. One of the bigger issues was getting Sam back, which I have done. It's not completely taken care of yet since I still owe some $$$ on the repair job. At least it's inspired me of yet another project to work on tentively titled "Adventures in Having a Car." It will showcase the "joys" of operating a motor vehicle. A big segment will be devoted to "The Law" and all the fun you can have going to court for various reasons like driving and talking on you cell phone (which is illegal in Connecticut), driving an unregistered and/or uninsured car, and my latest offense--speeding. In one episode, we'll talk about why and how you can benefit fighting a ticket and what happens if you don't. Then we'll shed some light on yet another reason I might want to leave Sam and CT for the subway and cab-filled city of New York.

To shed some light on where this idea came from, I got a notice from the lovely DMV telling me I need to take a course in driving safety or else my license will be suspended. This is due to me just paying my speeding ticket thinking that it will be over and done with. I was mistaken. Sigh.

But back to the writing--I sit at my console (I love saying that) and I look through my list of projects to work on and never actually get around to working on any of them. I get distracted by other things I have on my table (which is usually half of my bed) which consists of unwatched movies and unread books. Wednesday I got a good 2 hours of harp learning and practice in. Saturday and Sunday I did some Spanish exercises. You can expect me to throw in some Spanish from time to time here. Furthermore, Saturday night I finally watched The Forbidden Kingdom which has been sitting on my bed for the past two weeks. I still need to finish watching Freaks and Geeks so I can return those to Netflix and get more DVDs to sit on my bed unwatched for weeks at a time.

Speaking of my room, I was terrified of a freakishly large spider hanging out on my jeans yesterday. I wasn't wearing them yet, and at first glance thought it was a ball of string. My God I was wrong. I'm not a girl. I don't scream. I voiced a very manly "WHOA!" and tossed them in the middle of the room, watching them cautiously lay there being passively occupied by an intruder with 6 extra legs. I grabbed one of four shoes I found and pounded around looking for this quarter-sized pants-stealer. I found him/her eventually and committed spidercide, then vacuumed the body, put on my pants, and went to church. No forgiveness was asked. I think there's a rule somewhere for spiders thou shalt not touch another man's garments or something.

I wrote an article years ago for my high school news paper about my friend Billy, who was a spider living in my room. He stayed by the ceiling, and we had an agreement that he would never cross the line, and I won't kill him. Unfortunately, my mom told me she killed him and didn't tell me, and an imposter Billy came about, but failed to recognize the treaty. I do believe I killed that one once I learned of Billy's fate. But I find it humorous thinking "what if..." What if who I killed Sunday was actually Billy? Or maybe Billy's offspring seeking revenge? I didn't see a resemblance. Billy was much smaller than this beast. I don't think they were remotely related.

I digress. Severely. I really wanna write a script or something but have a hard time choosing from projects I've started. But I think I'm going to set a goal for myself this week to work on some of the serial works I have. Like the Fickette McSavvy cartoon. At least I can have a pilot episode written. At least. Or maybe my Noah Madison stories. Something. I need the juices to pump and flow. I need the euphoria of accomplishment. Hmmm... I like that. Plus you just don't know how long I've been waiting to throw a word like "euphoria" out and have it actually mean something. I decree that will be the middle name of a future child! Do you hear that future wife and mother to that child(ren)? ______ Euphoria Watson. Heck! It even works as a first name. And it is written. Other names I like to throw in the ring: Jade, Phoenix, Nefertiti... I can't think of the others right now.

I'm not sure when the writing will occur. Possibly tomorrow evening after work and before Fringe. Maybe late on Thursday night. Sometime during Friday or Saturday? Who really knows? Plus I have a number of books to complete/study/skim. So I must make time for that also. Stay in school, kids.

pajama meetings and break-ins

I truly must admit, it's a wonderful thing to "go" to a meeting in your pajamas. I really thought about going into the office today for this mandatory meeting... but then it dawned upon me--why would I waste such precious gas for a 30 minute chat when we are living in 2008 and I can utilize telephone conferencing options that have been offered to me? Is this not the more simpler action? Could it get any easier? Probably... But I can't afford to use my precious brain energy to think of it right now. Instead, I am yet again more concerned about nursing my tree back to optimum health. A new branch has sprouted over the week. I'm so excited! I never thought I'd be so happy about a plant. My, my, the times are changing.

This be the day that the nation remembers what every fire engine has plastered on their rears telling us to "never forget" with a sillouette of the late Twin Towers. Honestly, it's hard to forget when I'm reminded every other time something political comes on TV regarding terrorism. It's too bad. Oh, and every other show featuring NY and the infamous skyline. Don't get me wrong, I feel as bad as the next guy... but I don't want to stay in depression. I've got things to do and most of those activities require me to be happy. One such thing is celebrating my sister's birthday. We actually talked about how our birthdays seem to be on or around some tragedy. Granted, her birthday came first, but still. As for my birthday? The space shuttle Challenger exploded. As I like to tell it, after that tragic event happen, the world cried. But then I was born and everyone got happy again. Unfortunately for my sis, once people learn that her life anniversary shares the same never-forget date, people tend to react the same way. "Oh, I'm so sorry. Are you okay with that?" Like she has a choice.

But we all take it in stride. Sure, her tragedy was bigger than mine, but I remind people. I wanna get a little sympathy too. Is that so wrong? Does that make me a bad person? If it does, I don't mind. I don't always wanna seem like the perfect kid, ya know? I don't wanna be labelled "the bad boy" either... which I doubt would ever happen unless I played a character so well that I get type casted. I think if I had a choice of what to be type casted as, it'd be a sarcastic, witty, semi-slacker genius comic relief type.

In other news, the crime wave continues and is too close for comfort. By "too close", I mean a couple houses down. And by "crime", I mean someone broke into their house and stole stuff. I dunno what stuff or how much, but it happened during the sunshine part of the day. I will continue to be honest here and say that this news has me a tiny bit on edge for the current time. Besides the fact it took place less than a few yards from my home, I am home alone until Sunday. So, God forbid, if anyone tries to illegally enter my house, I'm not sure what I'll do. Considering my office is literally next to the front door, I have an advantage. Plus I rarely leave the house. However, should they enter the back door and I'm in my room, I have more time to prepare... say... grab a long and/or pointed stick and go to battle, essentially living out my dream of beating someone up in the name of goodness, justice, and the right to bare arms. And yes, I'd have something sleeveless on just to overstate the "bare arms" part. Overall, it'll mark another victory in life. Another statement as to say "t. sterling is not a guy who you can crank call or steal and plunder from because he'll make you feel bad that you lost. And he'll beat you with a stick if necessary. It might be pointed. Or he'll throw a water balloon at you and belt 9V batteries at you before just sticking two on you on a damp spot."

Okay... I'm not sure what one would say. Just know that I'm not afraid to stand my ground if I have to. I'll be some kinda mixed breed of Jackie Chan and MacGuyver if I must get physical. I much prefer sticking to battles of wit. Like Bugs Bunny, Yakko Warner or Shawn Spencer. I have a decent track record. Not that I want to engage in anything, I'm a pacifist at heart. A sadistic pacifist, but I love peace all the same.

Wow... I need to get out of my house for a little while... Seriously.

cops and eggs

I wasn't expecting to use the "cops" tag much more than that weekend I had a few weeks ago... but it turns out I had another episode running into the law last night. Actually, they were on the good side this time. And by "good side" I mean that I wasn't getting a ticket nor was I in any trouble whatsoever. But anyone driving by might think otherwise with Meriden's finest with their new shiny bright colorful red and blue lights. I must admit, I like the way they look as a back light... even if they are flashing at a super hyper epilepsy inducing rate. They almost look purple.

So here's what happened: my aunt was on her way to our house and her fuel line sprang a leak, which started gushing gasoline everywhere except to where it's needed--the engine. Thus, causing her car to stop. She called us, my dad and I went out to the rescue. We eventually called AAA. Per AAA, we would need a flat bed tow truck and a fire truck to contain the leak. We didn't know we needed a specific flat bed tow, until before we even called a tow truck drove by and was nice enough to ask us if we needed help. He told us he couldn't help due to the leak, but said he'd let the other guy know and that he'd be waiting for the call.

After the call, a cop pulled up and checked on us. He decided to stay and help flag down the tow truck. How nice of him. He also called dispatch to figure out whats taking the tow and the fire engine so long. Turns out AAA dispatch sent everyone to the wrong place. Which seemed odd, because we saw the to truck pass us. Then the fire engine finally came and explained they were at the wrong location because of the dispatch. There wasn't much they could do until the car was moved anyway. So there we are: me, my dad, my aunt, a cop, and about 6-7 volunteer fire fighters, all of us lights a-blazing (our cars had our hazards flashing, just to add to the fun).

Finally the tow truck arrives... and drives right by. We figure he's turning around. Nope. He does come back though from the opposite direction about 10 minutes later... but continues to drive by. He's looking for a car on the side of a specific road... And he passes by a big fire engine, a car, a police car, and a big blue pick up... All with lights flashing... signafying "Hey! Maybe you should check this out!" It's not until the 4th pass does he figure out where he needs to be, and we make room for him to do his thing, while we all give him questionable looks (which can only be seen with the flashing of our lights and a street light overhead). We also all wonder if he's on something. Sigh.

And I got a mosquito bite! I avoided them all summer! What the stank is that?

He drops the car off where we want, and we all go or merry way. My whole evening of nothingness gone, but I decide to take some time and write, which I do from about 9pm to 1am. I wrote a whole 13 pages. Hey, that's a big deal! Sure scripts don't look anything like essays, but I introduced all of my characters, set up most of the plots... and now I must type out an entire album that I've heard at least 134 times.

My deadline in August 31st. My other deadline is September 5th. But hey, it's Friday afternoon. I have the rest of today (mostly), all of tonight (except 10-11pm when Psych is on), and all of tomorrow (I think). I'm just finishing up my delicious breakfast of 1 sausage link, 2 spoonfuls of grits, 3 bacon strips, and 4 scrambled eggs (I just went out and bought 5 dozen). Now I need to kick off my shoes and throw down. Oh, and once again, my office area is all pretty and stuff. Hmmm. Pretty isn't the word I want to use. Cozy? I dunno... You choose one.

And look! I'm blogging! More pics later... I know I keep saying that... But seriously, not jestingly, I will post more later.

more cops and cars

I just can't catch a break this weekend! I drove my dad's pick-up truck to church this morning, and no sooner do I get a few blocks away, I feel what felt like the brakes giving out. Are you kidding me?? Fortunately, my dad had an easy solution, or hopefully. At the end of the day he had me buy brake fluid. Meanwhile, he just told me to drive carefully, which I was going to do anyway since yesterday happened.

Not only that, but my friend was in a car accident yesterday that she felt should've killed her. Since we are all Christians, we felt it was a sign that she needs to get her life in order, like, immediately.

Friday, I found out that there was a buralry down the street from my house. And in broad daylight! Between the hours of 9-11am. Terrible. I thought this was a decent neighborhood!

Batman is doing well though... I heard so far they are breaking records or they're about to break more. I may actually see it a second time it was so good. Maybe I shouldn't... I got that speeding ticket. Eh... we'll see.

I need to pick out what I'm going to wear tomorrow. I need to start a work-at-home (WAH) countdown...

me and the cops

I have to admit, I'm not the best of Connecticut's finest these days. I mean that on a personal level. Sure they may be saving lives and stuff, but they aren't doing me too many favors.

What the stank is a $294 speeding ticket?! That is 1 car insurance payment! That's 2/3rds of what I owe Middlesex, and who knows what other bill I need to pay off. Oh well, it's my own fault. And my dad says to me "Welcome to the club." Which is just me and him.

I should've stayed home. I'm sick of cops this weekend.

someone call batman

What a weekend it has been so far!

To make a long story short (something that's hard for me to do as well making long stories one of the qualities people like about my stories), I made my first real 9-1-1 call Thursday night. Why did I add the "real" part? A few years ago with one of my older cell phones, I accidentally locked myself out of my phone and couldn't remember the password to unlock it or reset it. But it had some kind of emergency number thingy, and without really thinking about it I called that and annoyed a dispatched or clearly stated that this was a number for emergencies and hung up. I would be upset too if someone called me to complain they locked themselves out of their cell phone.

Anyway some guy was screeching his SUV through my yard Thursday night around 10-10:30 trying to run over some dude. It was amazing they didn't hit anything in the yard since my grandmother has been cutting down our little trees. Anyway the man was doing the best he could to avoid this guy and as my mother, grandmother and I stepped out of the house he pleaded for us to call the cops. Meanwhile the SUV is now trying to back up after going into someone elses yard alarming more neighbors who are also calling the cops. I was already dialing as my mother was telling me to do so and giving out my info, feeling like a active citizen and watching my tax dollars goto work.

With the quickness, I heard sirens and saw flashing lights zooming down the street before I even got off the phone. My guess is they were on pursuit of the SUV whom had since fled the scene. A few minutes later a cop came to our area and talked with the victim who told the cop the guy trying to hit him is drunk, driving an uninsured car, and where the guy lived. Meanwhile, a vehicle approaches from a side street, sort've slowly, then brakes suddenly. Naturally it catches everyone's attention, and once the SUV realizes we're all stand by a police car, it does the best it can to make a U-turn in the tiny street hitting what sounding like a mailbox. The cop makes a K-turn and goes after the SUV.

My mother runs back in the house, I chat briefly with a friend of mine whom I haven't seen in YEARS! We discuss how it's a shame we have to meet under the circumstances, but we're glad to see each other once again.

I run back in the house because it's almost time to get ready to see The Dark Knight which I bought midnight tickets for earlier that day. When I go back out to leave, I see cops posted on the street with lights on and flashing. I don't know if they caught the guy but I'd like to think and hope that they did.

Meanwhile, I saw a real villian on screen that absolutely frightened me as well as cracked me up. I told so many people how awesome this movie is, and for once, this is a movie that lives up to it's hype.

It was a disgustingly long day and night, but I good 24 hours nonetheless. I made my quota by 11 files, and made my own by 1. Technically 56 files altogether. But whatever, it's good to be safe again. Batman had nothing to do with that though. Actually he distracted me. Stupid Batman....