I've been asked a few times why I write. My answer is usually the same with a few variations, but overall it was comes to this: I have to. For me, writing is therapy. When I'm depressed, when I'm excited, when I'm confused and even when I'm bored... I need to grab a pen or a keyboard and express my feelings or thoughts or creations.
I'm convinced this is a gift/talent from God. And I've learned that if you don't use these God-given gifts, He can take them away from you. I refuse to let it go and use it every chance I get. I carry a pen and usually a small notebook everywhere I go because I never know when I'll need it. I'm constantly writing emails to myself so I don't lose a thought that I can flesh out later.
I love the feeling of making an audience of 1 or 1,000 think about a moment in time, laugh out loud, or shed a tear. I enjoy taking them to other worlds or back to my childhood or a few months from now. I enjoy telling stories that people want to hear or just entertaining them for 5 minutes reading my blog. Close friends could tell you I don't write short emails. Text messages almost never have shorthand. I love details too much and making whatever I write have my voice as if I was literally speaking to them. Writing is who I am.
I need to write not only for myself, but for my friends and family. They've got stories, as well as I, that need to be told. They have ideas, as well as I, that need to be heard. I put their thoughts or feelings into poetry, into characters I create, or just flesh out their ideas to make it not so confusing to them.
I do it for them because they support me and believe in me, and I can't let them down. My parents were the first to encourage me that I can do anything if I put my mind to it every since I was wee, and I believed them. Of course, at my wee age, I had no idea what I wanted to do, but I had my options wide open. Furthermore, at my wee age, I was already writing poetry and short stories of my own... I just never knew that's something I could build a career off of. And after I realized I've got a knack for this thing, and if I work hard and apply myself, I could be well paid and take care of those friends and family that support me. So in a sense, I'd be doing it for the money, but it won't be for me. I don't want to see my parents struggle with bills and whatnot. And I already promised people once I get to a point when I can help them succeed in their career, I'll come back and get them. So I write because people are depending on me. Even if they aren't, if I believe they are, it drives me.
And when it comes to a career, I took a long look at what the basis of entertainment is all about. I'm sure it's much more than what I'm about to say, but two of the most important pillars of what enterainment is WRITING and PERFORMANCE. From music to movies, books to blogs, you can't have most of what makes up the entertainment world without someone sitting down with a pen or at a computer typing out words. The performance comes in later after the words or written, or sometimes a performance is what inspires what's written. But I include performance because I love improv which is unscripted.
I don't do it for the fame, but I want to be recognized. I don't do it for the money, but I want to be in the business. I know I'm going to fail a couple times, but that's part of the road to success. I love writing. I love writing about writing. I love words. So much so, I've fathered words of my own. I may even name real child actual words. When and if I get tattoos, they will be words (vs pictures). I'm the anit-bling but if I had to get something platnium and diamond studded, it's be a pen I can wear around my neck. (I actually have a silver one that works just fine that I wear when I perform poetry.)
So why do I write? Because I have to. I need to. I was born with a pen in my hand and I'll probably go out with one... maybe in my pocket. I can't stop and won't stop. I may pause though. That's why they made the pause button so you can resume after you took a potty emergency.
Really though... this singer has managed to channel her sound back to the 60's, 70's and instantly I think I fell in love. The same thing happened with Joss Stone. So now... I think there's an inner battle--Joss or Solange? Solange or Joss? Chicken or the egg? Cheese or meatlovers? Paper or plastic? ...Oh wait, they don't really do paper anymore. But the point is, these two women now have a special place in my heart. And let's not forget the awesome Leela James. She's got raw power too. Leela, Joss and Solange need to get together and do something awesome... But I don't see it happening. Personally I think Leela is on another level all her own.
But I digress, we're talking about music, not my future possible wife. Solange's Dancing in the Dark is my pick for a song everyone should listen to at least 3 times. I'd have it on repeat for about an hour. I actually did that yesterday. The whole album is about an hour, but I took off like 3-4 songs I didn't care for. I love her, but I need the space on my iPod until I get a newer bigger one. Anyway, the whole album is great to listen to, but if I had to pick one song, I think ummmm... T.O.N.Y. or ummmm... Sandcastle Disco. There's actually a video for that one. OH! 6 O'Clock Blues. Okay, so for my iPick, I'll just say Sol-angeL and the Hadley St. Dreams. Check it out immediately.
In other news, it's raining a lot today. My fingers got pruny just looking out the window.
I had a rough week trying to make my quota at work. BUT I did it. And almost with flying colors. Wednesday I took a bat to those files and start beating them senselessly. Figuratively of course. I don't own a bat. :-( But after going crazy, I continued my rampage most of Thursday morning. I drifted off into another world for a couple hours, came back and ordered bad fried food, then went back to work. And by the way there is good fried food and bad fried food. This was bad just because it was fried badly. Good fried is like... bacon. My grandmother made some today. I wish I had more and I'm glad I didn't share. She made eggs and buttered toast too.
I always wondered if it's possible to be too awesome. I think it might be. With all this cooking my grandmother is doing, I'm going to be obese. Obesity is excess awesome. But I need to get back to the gym. I know I keep saying that, but I think maybe Monday. Monday seems good. Yes, Monday.
Texting and driving is dangerous. Slightly less dangerous: iPodding and driving. I kinda just shortened it to just iPodding. Or is it iPoding? I don't know... but the definition would be manipulating your iPod in anyway. It's a verb. Even though I'm know to text and iPoding and eating while driving... I don't advise anyone else should live on the edge like me.
Lastly, I bought a game for my computer. I'm allowed! I can have some fun sometimes if I want. I don't have to work or write all the time! I need to exercise my brain with other things... which is why I bought this $10 game called "Brain Teasers" so I can tease my brain. It might hate me later for the insults, but we'll get over it.
I'm gonna go play now.
But I've accomplished a lot in the past year: went from temp to full time to a sort've department change to work-at-home. And for a quarter of that time, I was still with the Mart and not loving it. Had I still been there, I would've crossed the 3 year mark indefinitely. I have yet to hold a job for more than 3 years. Well, being an A/V techie at church doesn't count. Nor does being a writer. Why? Because I say so! Don't question me. I won't hear it or read it. Not now anyway.
So um... How about some cake or cookies or something? I've got a tub of Nestle sugar cookie dough. I haven't baked any of it yet. I keep sneaking teaspoons throughout the day or before bed. One day it'll make it onto a pan. Needless to say, anytime I'm able to bake cookies, if there's enough to make about 24 cookies, only 16 might make it in the oven. 12 might make it to a plate to cool off. 5 might get the chance to be consumed by someone else. And that's if I'm feeling kind hearted. Other days, they might be kidnapped to eat at a later hour. 98% of the time, home baked cookies don't last 24 hours in my house. Especially if I'm the one doing the baking because I'm too lazy to bake for later. I only bake just enough for right now. I'm a cookitator. Or maybe a confectionariator. Yeah, say that one out loud! But that's too include cakes and muffins or sweet things I must rule over and eventually consume. I am the Saddam of Sweets. The Stalin of Sugars. The Bush of Biscuits. Okay, I think I made my point.
I like cheese too. So... Ya know... Anything cheesy, feel free to pass that over too. The Mussolini of Mozzarella... The Prince of Parmasan... The Czar fo Cheddar... Okay, I'll stop now.
This video has nothing to do with anything... except maybe history. But it makes me laugh. And it's my belated party and I can laugh if I want to.
If only history class was always like this...
So Christmas shopping, I have my dad and grandmother sort've crossed off the list. For some reason, I always find it difficult for the females in my life. And I don't wanna go for the easy smell-goods or candles that I know they'd be happy with. I want to give one of those gifts that are like "Aww!!! Sterrrrling!!!" And maybe a tear is shed or they are smiling so hard their cheeks are sore or they turn into a human clamp and hug so hard it's difficult to sustain life. I made my dad tear up one year which was a feat all it's own. That's when I bought the church a computer. You see, it's not necessarily the gift, it's the thought and meaning behind it. I'd rather give someone a touching hand written letter that I wrote specifically for that person versus the most expensive latest prettiest thing money can buy. Well, of course if I can afford something someone I care about really wants, then they can count it done!
I had Stuffed Buffalo Bread for lunch which was so-so. Not the best thing in the world, but it was something different. I bought me some new jeans. Hopefully they will take over my favorite pair since those spawned a whole in an unsightly area.
Back at the Mart, I ran into other co-workers telling me how the managers are such people persons. That's sarcasm by the way. Someone needs an angry letter sent to their house. But I probably have a better chance writing a script around it instead.
In other news, I plan on doing some writing later today. I'm not sure which project I'll pick up. I started about 3 or 4 in the past two months. Perhaps I'll write fuller drafts of two very rough drafts I've written on the spur of moments I had in the span of at least an hour. Both of which would be short films, but great stories nonetheless. Perhaps I'll expand on a thought I was inspired by earlier today. Would you like to hear it? Sure you would. And it wouldn't ruin anything I'm planning anyway. "So close but yet so far." Yep, that's what I'm thinking about. I'm going to have that be an underlying theme in a future story.
Speaking of stories, I'm also trying to device a decent mystery plot. I've always wondered how writers came up with those great mysteries that have awesome reveals at the end. I've come to realize that for some stories like that, one has to work backwards. Usually, I just go from beginning to end... or middle to end, then beginning... or middle to beginning to end... or... you get the point. And I think I'm turning into a morning person. I was up at 6:30 this morning out and about and enjoying myself, almost like I was on a mission. Well, sort've... But nothing was definite other than lunch, movies and some light shopping. The writing I hope to get to before midnight. Perhaps I could at least finish a treatment or a prewritten rough draft script.
But all of that after my movie viewing. Oh yeah, and I'm going to sign of for a Spanish class. I love the langauge, the culture, and... the ladies? Good God! But I'm really going to learn it to better myself and my future. But it wouldn't hurt to minlge with the latinas either.
I'm glad to be awake at the before-crack-of-dawn time. AND I'm awake AFTER sleeping for over 8 hours! Hey, this is rare. I'm usually asleep for about 5 hours, more or less. And sometimes those hours aren't all at once. This is what leads to random naps throughout the day. Unfortunately, I took said random nap last week which screwed up the rest of my work day. Napping on the job when you work at home isn't a good thing for a guy like me. I'll stretch a 5 minute nap to about 2 hours if I'm not pressured. I'll also stretch out on the couch completely since Jake is a bit too.... um... chairy? Heh... cherry... Awesome.
I read that it's good to eat to keep yourself awake. But I don't want to be fat. I like my size and I don't want to buy more pants! I keep saying it, but I really need to get back to the gym. I'm waiting for Sam to come back first. And no, I still don't have Sam back yet. It'd be perfect if I got it this weekend. I miss Sam. Sigh...
Well, 'tis the 6 o'clock hour so I must go down to my office and get to work. But first I'll get dressed and wear clothes that don't match at all. This is a benefit of working at home. HOWEVER, this makes me want to dress a bit better even the more when 4pm rolls around because by that time, I'm ready to get out of the house. Plus my hair is out and looking insane. Actually, I look like a black Eraserhead. Fortunately, you don't need to see the movie to get that reference, just look at the box cover. And no, I haven't seen the movie. I heard about a disgustingly weird baby and I'm not sure I need my dreams scarred for life. Or at least for a night. This is why I avoid horror movies--I love sleeping without waking up in a sweat or out of breath or completely terrified. That's like waking up on the wrong side of the bed. Or on the floor. Sometimes you don't wake up from those falling dreams until after you land.
This be the day that the nation remembers what every fire engine has plastered on their rears telling us to "never forget" with a sillouette of the late Twin Towers. Honestly, it's hard to forget when I'm reminded every other time something political comes on TV regarding terrorism. It's too bad. Oh, and every other show featuring NY and the infamous skyline. Don't get me wrong, I feel as bad as the next guy... but I don't want to stay in depression. I've got things to do and most of those activities require me to be happy. One such thing is celebrating my sister's birthday. We actually talked about how our birthdays seem to be on or around some tragedy. Granted, her birthday came first, but still. As for my birthday? The space shuttle Challenger exploded. As I like to tell it, after that tragic event happen, the world cried. But then I was born and everyone got happy again. Unfortunately for my sis, once people learn that her life anniversary shares the same never-forget date, people tend to react the same way. "Oh, I'm so sorry. Are you okay with that?" Like she has a choice.
But we all take it in stride. Sure, her tragedy was bigger than mine, but I remind people. I wanna get a little sympathy too. Is that so wrong? Does that make me a bad person? If it does, I don't mind. I don't always wanna seem like the perfect kid, ya know? I don't wanna be labelled "the bad boy" either... which I doubt would ever happen unless I played a character so well that I get type casted. I think if I had a choice of what to be type casted as, it'd be a sarcastic, witty, semi-slacker genius comic relief type.
In other news, the crime wave continues and is too close for comfort. By "too close", I mean a couple houses down. And by "crime", I mean someone broke into their house and stole stuff. I dunno what stuff or how much, but it happened during the sunshine part of the day. I will continue to be honest here and say that this news has me a tiny bit on edge for the current time. Besides the fact it took place less than a few yards from my home, I am home alone until Sunday. So, God forbid, if anyone tries to illegally enter my house, I'm not sure what I'll do. Considering my office is literally next to the front door, I have an advantage. Plus I rarely leave the house. However, should they enter the back door and I'm in my room, I have more time to prepare... say... grab a long and/or pointed stick and go to battle, essentially living out my dream of beating someone up in the name of goodness, justice, and the right to bare arms. And yes, I'd have something sleeveless on just to overstate the "bare arms" part. Overall, it'll mark another victory in life. Another statement as to say "t. sterling is not a guy who you can crank call or steal and plunder from because he'll make you feel bad that you lost. And he'll beat you with a stick if necessary. It might be pointed. Or he'll throw a water balloon at you and belt 9V batteries at you before just sticking two on you on a damp spot."
Okay... I'm not sure what one would say. Just know that I'm not afraid to stand my ground if I have to. I'll be some kinda mixed breed of Jackie Chan and MacGuyver if I must get physical. I much prefer sticking to battles of wit. Like Bugs Bunny, Yakko Warner or Shawn Spencer. I have a decent track record. Not that I want to engage in anything, I'm a pacifist at heart. A sadistic pacifist, but I love peace all the same.
Wow... I need to get out of my house for a little while... Seriously.
As for the reunion... I honestly will admit I was pretty bored. I met a bunch of people I probably won't see for another year or so, if that. One of which I do hope to meet again and work with. More on that later.
As for work... So far so good. 27 files down, and we'll just say... 23 to go... and 2 days left. Woot.
My parents and grandmother tripped down to Virginia for the rest of the week. They left a few hours ago and now I have the house to myself. Partytime? Oh yeah, baby! Evey night! Heh... Not quite. Pretty much everytime I have the house to myself for more than a few days... I haven't been home. Like I suddenly turn into an anti-homebody. Odd? Some seem to think so. But the other thing is one of my best friends is on vacation and will also be gone for the week. So that's one less person I can wreak havoc with. I need some more local friends.
Speaking of important people in my life, I'm starting to watch TV a little more this fall. In fact, as I type I'm watching Fringe. I can't say if it's good or bad since it's only the first 30 minutes... However I am impressed whenever they show a location, the words/names are floating and sometimes the camera flies through the letters. It's like the words are actually there! It's awesome. I want floating words in my neighborhood! Not necessarily location devices, but just random words. What might I have? "Squishy." Or maybe "onomatopoeia."
Between the commercial breaks, they actually say how long until they return. If only every show did that. This show has some humor to it too that I appreciate. It was either this or Wipe Out... which I do watch. Later, another new show, on BET no less, called Somebodies is coming on that I want to check out. This is the 3rd show that sounds like the premise or the exact college themed sitcom I wanted to do. The other two is Undeclared and some show I saw on Hulu.com called Dorm Life. I haven't seen it yet... But one day. I keep a lot of my big ideas to myself, but I'll let the title out on this one--Academic Probation. Sigh... I won't say much more about it though.
I do hope a new show called Valentines get's cancelled. I feel bad for saying that, but an idea I have for a movie trilogy involves Greek mythology very similar to how that show is doing things. I do not appreciate it. Alas, this was an idea I would bring up when I was more established, and had the chance to meet the great Andre 3000.
Well, I'm going to go off and cause a lot of trouble.
I must come to terms with myself, just admit defeat, and learn to let go. So I did just that today... sort've. Today marks the 100th day I cleaned my room. I jest, I really don't have the foggiest of how many times I've cleaned my room since I've been here. The very few who have seen my room, know what I mean. So much so, a friend bought this... thing... which I proudly hang on my wall.Fortunately, this room cleaning thing runs in the family. My dad has a knack for being messy yet highly organized, and so do I. Other traits we share? Storytelling, acute observational skills, good with numbers, businessmanshipness, sarcasm, humor, cookings, facial expressions and the ability to hold the attention of a crowd--something we both don't really like to admit, but do when the time calls.
Oh, we also sometimes have a hard time letting go of clothes that hurt us if we wear them. I'm getting better at that part, although I'm currently wearing a pair of shorts now that I described as... well... I just can't wait to get back home so I can take them off again. With that said, I also cleaned out my closet and got rid of several pairs of beloved and/or forgotten jeans. I also got rid of a bunch of sweaters I've had for a bunch of years that only took up space and precious hangers. I like the plastic ones, and I also try keeping the ones that shirts are originally hanging on. There's a reason why stores take them back: they are quality.
Two trash bags full of good clothes await to be donated. So I've done my good deed for the year, leave me alone.
Also in 100 news, tonight was Monk's 100th episode. It's not a show I'm a huge fan of, but since I'm not doing anything before Psych comes on, I'll tune in. And it was a pretty good episode, also playing on the #100 theme. Those who aren't keen on why 100 episodes is a big deal, allow me to explain. Syndication. However, there are exceptions, like the beloved Arrested Development and it's 53 episodes.
It's raining pretty hard outside. Must be Hanna knocking. I counted 100 rain drops. That was kinda hard to do.
Mmm... let's see... what else crossed the 100 mark? What happened today in 1908? I don't know and I don't care right now.
100th big toe nail clipping (this year)? 100th piece of fried fish (this year)? 100th egg (this summer)? 100th movie I've seen since... 100 Girls? Actually no... I've seen way more movies since then, but that's the first movie that came to mind with "100" in it.
OH YES! (Not related to 100) MY SCRIPT IS PRINTED and ready to be given to my uncle, whom I hope is still coming. Either way, it's a really good feeling having that finished. Well, mostly. I'm sure revisions will come about. But still... WOOT!!
...and finally, and this is the big one... This is my 100th post. I wish I had technology that would burst streamers out of the screen of anyone reading this. It's up to you to clean it up though. Sorry. But woot woot all the same, right?
I had to do one more post before I did this one. But that post was late anyway. Forever Lasts Tonight is one of my favorite poems I've written so far, and the other night I was thinking about it as I enjoyed the late summer night. If only I had committed it to memory, I would've recited it and made people feel all warm and gushy inside. Like Pop-Tart filling right out of the toaster. Wait, no... that's actually painful... But I'm impatient and have a habit of causing pain to myself for the sake of extreme deliciousnesses. Extra cheesy gooey pizza is another criminal to my burning tongue. But oh! It is sooo good. I want some now, but seeing it's 3:17am, the last pizza place just closed 18 minutes ago. That's okay... I actually bought some Pop-Tarts real quick during a Monk commercial break. And you know what? It was my 100th Pop-Tart (this year). (Strangely, that might be true...)
The shore begins to darken, waves continue to ride.
As the sun kisses the sky goodnight,
a group of friends approach in the lunar light.
Sandy beaches under star speckled skies.
The full moon shines down where a blanket lies.
Familiar music plays that I know I never heard
but some how I'm able to sing each and every word.
Unaware that perception of time seems to fade,
understanding memories were meant to be made.
Laughing, living, loving with carelessly gentle ease
as the natural and comforting warm summer breeze.
Slowly, silently, we lament that time is not still.
We all agreed, if we could, it would be our will:
this summer's night would last forever.
The night will always reign a month before September.
We found tranquility in our little piece of the world.
If only we could share it with every boy and girl.
Alas, time moves on, and the sun returns to reign,
forcing the moon, stars and night from whence it came.
The friends continue to marvel at the beauty of hues.
The sun melting away darkness into light yellows and blues.
We, too, think it's due time we slip into sleep,
but we're too afraid to leave a place so serene and sweet.
Inspiring poems, stories, dreams, memories and songs.
It's hard to go home when it seems this is where we belong.
Anyway, I finished a random quick script that can be used as a short film, or an important scene in a movie. I like the short film idea, and if it comes to me or someone says I should expand, then maybe I'll see where else I can take the characters. The story is about a young couple in love having a humorous but somewhat romantic conversation while staring at the ceiling above them. I wrote it in a rush because I was trying to record the words as I heard them in my head before the thought went away. I may have lost some of the "magic" when I picked it up the following night where I passed out at... But I let a friend read through it, so I'm awaiting her critique.
As for work... it's going pretty good. I had a rough first couple of days. Besides the whole bloody nose thing... Some of the programs we need to use weren't working like they were supposed to, making processing very frustrating to do. When I get super frustrated mixed with boredy, it makes me sleepy. As hard and wobbly as my new desk is, it doesn't make for a comfy pillow. I tried anyway. As for my chair? I think I will name it Jake. No reason. I just like giving inanimate objects names, especially names that sound like actual people. Remember Sam? Yeah, he's still at the hospital. I'll call about that tomorrow, or just stop by after my lunch at the office.
The other newness is my upgrading to Internet Explorer 8. Ever upgrade to a new program and it feels new, shiny and clean? I had that feeling too. It was also maybe because I cleared some of the dust off the screen. But now my Yahoo home page looks nice and cool due to the upgrade, and I finished off updating my own blog's design. Nothing significant... except for the blog roll, the ability to RSS, and my blog picture of my desk. The other newness blog related is a blog I love reading, sometimes more than once, Writing Forward by the lovely melissa who is an inspiration to practically anyone who goes there. Little known fact, she's the reason why blog so much now. I have the Indoob, my movie reviews on MySpace, and I contribute to Wolfgang Puck. I haven't lately, since it's not my blog and I don't want to hog it. But I learned that you need to love your blog. And by loving it, you gotta write in it. And doggone it I'm gone write!
I really need to go to bed. And I'm thirsty. And hot. And sexy. Sorry, couldn't resist, it's like a catchphrase with me. Except I can't type in a Barry White-esque "voice" ...but I do what I can. Anyway, for those working 4 day weeks, Happy Friday yall!
Special shout out to jaden @ http://www.screenwritingforhollywood.com --also a very useful blog and great resource for knitting sweaters, just like the website says.
LMAO!! Okay... I don't know what the stank this is... But I kinda want one. 1) to play to see if it's any fun, 2) to be a television for Halloween and 3) wear it to meetings so I can hide my true emotions... like being asleep. No doubt people would enjoy watching me better than whatever I might be watching inside of it. Even if it was empty.
I found this picture listed under World's Ugliest Gadgets. I have no idea whatsoever what this thing really is, other than some kind of video game, or flight simulator... yet I'm curious how this poor girl can manage all the weight of the be-a-boob-tube helmet. You need a strong neck if you're going to have a TV for a head. I'm just going to stop and admire the hilairity of the picture. This was worth waking up in this morning to see. This makes me happy.
Allow me to complain about nosebleeds. I haven't had one since 1990. Okay, so it's a guess... but a bleeding nose is rare for me. Yes, they used to frighten my when I was wee, but now that I'm older, it's just annoying. I was only scared because the grown-ups around me would freak out. "OH MY GOD!" "YOUR NOSE IS BLEEDING!" "THIS KID'S NOSE IS BLEEDING!" "GET THE NURSE!" "TILT YOUR HEAD BACK!" "GET HIM A TISSUE!" "THERE'S A FIRE... sale!"
I don't know why my nose was bleeding, but I just wanted it to stop, which it did. I hate when my garbage looks like a murder scene/surgery scene, and me looking like I've been beaten up. The concern people show me only make it worse.
It wasn't too bad of a distraction from today's work. I actually didn't mind going back to work today... except that the program we use still has issues. By the end of the day, things were getting back to normal, except the fact my drowsiness had settled back on me. What I really felt like doing was jumping up on stage singing Stevie Wonder hits. But I stayed put and got some decent work done. Not enough, but tomorrow I should be back on track.
One of the reasons I was so sleepy, I started a new script for a new short film. I couldn't sleep with these "voices" having this conversation that I needed to write down... or type. Ironically enough, it was about a couple who were wide awake in the middle of the night too. They didn't finish their late night chat because the writer suddenly had a strong case of the sleepies. I slept for about 2 hours, then went to my office for the real work. Oh, I made myself a huge pot of coffee which left me with the feeling of wanting to explode. Fortunately, I didn't.
Lastly, my grandmother is killing me. No, not with knives or poison. I'm not crazy about blueberry muffins, but she made them again today, and she's turning me into a fiend for them. And each time she makes them, I find myself eating them until there are no more left. I'd creep down in the wee hours and steal one or two, and smuggle them back to my room for snacking like a raccoon. I'm so hungry right now. And so sleepy. What am I to do? I'll steal a few winks before I steal a muffin and then steal a few more lines of dialogue. Sounds like a plan to me.